Mother's Day Update

Hi everyone! First I wanted to thank you all for all of your support and love. You have all helped me get through this obstacle in one way or another. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you.

So, I have completed 6 of 8 Chemo treatments, and I am still going strong. I have no side effects to speak of, and I am still exercising and working every day. I have actually gained almost 25 pounds since I started Chemo, and they had to increase my dosage because of it. :-) This is probably the only time in my life that getting fat is a good thing (as well as doctor recommended.) In all honesty though, I really cant wait for this to be over, specifically so that I can get back to dieting and training how I was before. My last treatment is on May 28th, and I am definitely looking forward to that day. After that treatment, I have to wait two weeks, and then I can go and get a PET/CT Scan, which will determine the cancer's activity level in my body. If that goes well, I can get my port taken out a few days later. Then I just need to work with my doctor to figure out whether or not I will have to undergo radiation therapy. If it turns out that I do need radiation therapy, it will be acute, not general, which means less side effects, and less exposure. Also, it will most likely only be for a half hour each day for a month. Not too bad considering what some people have to go through. Wish me luck!

Lately, I have been spending a lot of my time lately working on a website for my MMA gym. I pushed it live last week, and could really use some feedback on the usability and functionality of it. If anyone wants to check it out, head over to:

www.coga-mma.com

and let me know what you think.

Another thing I have been working on is a way to help raise money for Cancer research. I feel like there are a lot of people out there, going through what I am going through, but having a much tougher time of it than me. I want to use the extra energy that I am fortunate enough to have, to try and help those who are really in need. So, the only thing that I could think of, was t-shirts! I made a t-shirt that I feel really embodies my attitude towards the whole situation, and would like to ask each and every one of you to buy one. 100% of the profits from the sale of these shirts will be donated to Team in Training (Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of America.) They are only $20, and you can buy them directly off of my website which is located at:

www.squirrelfaktory.com

You will need to create a google account, because I use google checkout, but that should only take a minute or two. I used google checkout because they make it very easy for me to accept credit card payments, and keep track of orders and shipping addresses. The plan for the shirts is as follows:

Pre-orders are open from now until May 28th. Once pre-orders close I will order the shirts, and I should have them ready by mid June. Once that happens I will fly to California and hand deliver the shirts to everyone who purchased one. If you are not going to be available then, or if you don't live in California, I'll be happy to mail it to you. Then, I will have a "Josh beat Cancer" party, and I would like everyone who attends to wear the shirts. Sounds fun, right? ;-) This is something that really means a lot to me, so please please please help me out with this. I need to sell at least 200 in order to even get them printed, so every order counts!

Lastly, I will keep everyone updated from here on out, as I figure out the next stages of my treatment. Coming up soon here is when I figure out whether or not I need to continue treatment, or change course, or whatever other outcome there may be. So cross your fingers. These are the important weeks ahead.

-Josh-

I'm a baaaad blogger....soorryyyy

Hey Everyone! I have to apologize for being so quiet on here. I meant to blog right after my last chemo treatment, but I kept putting it off and forgetting, and before I knew it, I was days away from another treatment. So, as a special treat for all of you out there in blogg-o-land, I am typing this current entry WHILE getting my 3rd dose of Poison. :-)

My second chemo treatment went off without a hitch. It was exactly like the first time; no side effects to speak of. No nausea, no fatigue... I even got back into the gym last week (I had taken some time off to let my scars heal from surgery.) The only thing that I seem to be feeling after these wonderful visits to the cancer clinic is extreme hyperactivity. Apparently it's caused by the steroid that they give me before the chemo drugs. My Dad actually described me as a Meth-Addict on Prozac... not sure how I feel about that one. HAHA! Anyways, that is about the worst of it for me. I ain't complaining though. :-)

So, like I mentioned earlier (hopefully you were paying attention) I stepped back into the gym this week. It felt good to be back in action, but at the same time there was a bit of frustration. With my port in, I can't really spar. Physically I can, but I don't want to risk getting punched or kicked in that spot, for fear of my veins exploding and all. I warmed up and did the cardio, but we have some people training for fights this weekend, so most of practice on Monday and Wednesday was sparring. I did my own thing off to the side, but its frustrating to have to watch everyone else do what I should be doing. Even worse than not being able to spar is not being able to wrestle. THAT is frustrating. Oh well...in due time. In the mean time, I am going to have to step up the cardio to make up for the lack of action...and to counteract all the weight I have gained. My fat ass is back up to 185 now! Aye yai yai (not really sure how to spell that.)

On another positive note, my doctor is feeling really good about the way things are going. So, after 5 more treatments, I will go back in for another PET/CT scan to see the activity level in my lymph nodes, which will determine whether or not the cancer is gone. That's actually the only thing that I am not sure about in this process. How is it determined that I am cured? Does it ALL have to be gone? Or is there an acceptable level of activity? Since it's people looking at films, is it completely speculative or what? How accurate are those things? Is my doctor reading this blog? Where are my answers? :-) Oh well... better to just trust the science than worry about it.

I am going to keep this post nice and short, in the hopes that I will post more often in the future. If I don't, feel free to call me, text me, email me, facebook me, snail mail me, send me a carrier pigeon... however you prefer, feel free to hassle me about it.

TTFN

-J Dizzle-

PS: Yes that's me stuffing my face while getting Chemo... don't judge me monkey.

Attack of the Cancer-Corn

I really have no way to describe how I feel today, other than that it feels like there is a tiny Unicorn inside my body, jumping around poking holes from the inside (hence the wonderful illustration I spent 30 minutes making this AM.) It doesn't hurt much... it's just really annoying. It's in really random spots, and it's pretty continuous. Like a Unicorn with ADD going "What's that? What's that? What's that?" while poking shit inside me with his horn... Stupid Cancer-Corn. Get outta there! HAHA

So, since I am here, I guess now is a good time to lay down some info on different terms I may use throughout the course of this blog, different people I may refer to, and some general info about Hodgkin's Lymphoma:

Terms:

Chemo - This is just a short-hand for Chemotherapy, which is the treatment for Cancer. Chemotherapy is different across the board depending on what type of cancer you have, how much you weigh, whether you are male or female, how old you are, and probably a few other factors I am not aware of. There are many different drugs they use, and the quantity varies a lot as well. The main thing to understand is that Chemo is basically a regimen of poisons that they inject in your body to kill the cancer cells. It is very good at attacking rapidly multiplying cells, like cancer cells, but it is not selective. This means that it will also attack any other cell in your body that reproduces at an elevated rate. One of the most common side effects of Chemo is having a sore or irritated mouth. This is because the cells in your mouth and throat rebuild at a very high rate (not surprising considering how much you actually use your mouth everyday.) The type of Chemo I am on is called ABVD, which is the next term. I don't know how much I am on off the top of my head, but I know mine is small enough that it only takes an hour and a half to give it to me, vs the three hours that I thought it was going to take.

ABVD - ABVD is a type of Chemo regimen, and it happens to be the flavor of Chemo that I am on. It stands for Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine. I won't get into the specifics of each one, but I will say that this regimen has been tested and proven over the course of 20+ years, and has so far helped to push the cure rate for Hodgkin's Disease into the 95% range. The neat thing is that they are all very different. One of them is blood red, one is sensitive to light (so they wrap it in foil and call it a burrito), and the other two can't be administered at the same time for whatever reason. Pretty crazy stuff. For more info on these go ahead and click the snazzy chemical pictures below:

• Andriamycin:
  
  



• Bleomycin:
  
  



• Vinblastine:
  
  



• Dacarbazine:
  
  

Port - This is the short-hand for the access port they put inside my chest. It's called a Power Port, and it looks sort of like a pump on an old pair of Air Jordan's. Here's a picture:



This thing is honestly the best way to go if you are going to get Chemo. It sits right under the skin on your chest, near your armpit, and a pic line wraps around your peck, and goes into one of the biggest veins in your chest about 5 inches. At first it's a bit sore, but now that i've had it for about a week, I really don't notice it all that much. The beauty of it is that instead of having to poke you in the arm and give you and IV every two weeks, they just put a needle right into the port and direct inject the chemicals into you that way. And because it's right at skin level, it really doesn't hurt at all. It's like getting pinched. A few months after chemo, as long as my cancer is all dead and gone, they will remove the port and I will be left with nothing more than a memory of once being a bionic man... :-_(

Biopsy - A Biopsy is the operation they do to determine what type (if any) of cancer you have. They either remove a sample of skin if it's exterior, or they remove part (or all) of a tumor, or in my case, they remove a lymph node. Whatever it is they take, they then go and study those cells under a microscope in order to determine what it is. For me, they took a lymph node from under my right armpit. It was pretty inflamed at the time, and as I understand it, very easy to get to. The only downside is that part of my back is kinda numb still. Maybe it'll come back one day. The other nice thing is that since they were in there already, they just went ahead and put the port in right then and there. Less surgeries = less money = AWESOME!

Lymph Node - Lymph nodes are present all over your body in different places. Wikipedia writes: A lymph node (pronounced /ˈlɪmf noʊd/) is a small circular ball shape organ of the immune system, distributed widely throughout the body and linked by lymphatic vessels. Lymph nodes are garrisons of B, T, and other immune cells. Lymph nodes are found all through the body, and act as filters or traps for foreign particles. They contain white blood cells that use oxygen to process. Thus they are important in the proper functioning of the immune system. Basically, they are there to help fight diseases, and when you get sick they usually swell up because your white blood cells are being sent to the lymph node closest to the invading sickness. Like flys to a light. Lymphoma is a type of cancer that affects your lymph nodes and your lymphatic system.

White Blood Cells - These are the cells in your body that fight off infection. I equate them to your body's elite police force. There are a few different types, and each is made for fighting off a different type of bacteria or organism. They travel around in your blood stream, and when any foreign body is detected they bum rush it. The thing to note about them is that they have a very short life cycle. Typically your white blood cells live for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. In Lymphoma patients however, the white blood cells are mutated, and continue to live outside of their normal life cycle. They clump into your lymph nodes to fight infection, and end up sticking around like an unwanted house guest. This is where the tumors associated with Lymphoma come from (I may be wrong about that, but that's how I understand it.) While going through Chemo, your white blood cell count may fall dangerously low, which puts you at heightened risk for infection... which means when you come to my house, you get hand sanitizer THEN a hug.

People:

Dr. Wahl - My Oncologist (AKA: Cancer Doctor.) She's pretty awesome. Her confidence was something that put my mind at ease about this whole thing from day one, and so far she has been right about everything that she predicted about my disease. I am in good hands!

Skeletor - My roommate Johnny. This guy has been literally the best friend I could ask for through this whole thing. He has taken time off to help me get to appointments or to drive me from point A to point B, or even just to kick it with me when I need him, and I never had to ask once. Somebody's getting a big fruit basket this christmas! AHAHAHA

Angela - My very supportive and oh so awesome girlfriend. Angela makes me smile no matter what kind of mood I am in. The only unfortunate things is the physical distance between us. But I'm pretty sure what we have can stand up to that challenge.

T-Bizzle - I never call her this but I felt like coming up with a nickname for her. This is my loving cousin Tamar. She is the closest thing I have to a sister, and I definitely look to her a lot for confidence. She is a great cousin and a better friend!

Matt - Matt is my boss, and as I have come to realize, though he has a weird way of showing it, one of the most dedicated and compassionate friends you could have. In times of need Matt is always willing to help, and literally goes out of his way to make sure that his friends are taken care of before himself. Not many people share this amazing quality.

The Hodge - From here on out, this is how I will refer to my, cancer as a whole. And lemme tell ya... this bitch is goin' down!

There are a ton of people that I am sure I should list here, but I kinda need to get back to work, so I will end now. If I didn't put your name up here, don't trip. You are VERY important to me. I will amend this list as time goes on.

PS: I didn't list my parents because I figured it was pretty self explanatory who they are and how awesome they are. I have the best parent's ever (That means you too Megumi!) and I am thankful that they are willing to put up with me. :-D

Fever this morning

I woke up with a fever this morning of 100.1. The doctor said if it get's to 101.5 to call because it could be a bad infection, and I am more susceptible to infection because the Chemo is inhibiting my white blood cells from forming. I took some Tylenol, and feel fine, but I'm going to see her at 8:30 just incase. I also am going to buy a new thermometer, because prior to today mine has been telling me that my temperature is 96.8... which i'm pretty sure is supposed to kill you. Stupid thermometer.

I am going to create a post later today that explains all of the terms that I have used on here, and gives some more in-depth info about cancer and cancer treatments.

Thanks for all of your support!!!

***********EDIT************

Went to the doctor, and she said that my white blood cell counts are normal, which means that I am not at any heightened risk for infection. I guess my body is taking this better than I thought. :-)

Chemo # 1 down

Hey everyone,

So, this past weekend my Mom was in town. That was really a cool treat. It was nice to have her here for my very first Chemo Treatment on Friday, especially since my Dad was out of town on business. Ultimately, I would have been alright if neither of them could make it, but it was comforting having someone there.

The good news is, it only took an hour and a half, as opposed to the three hours that I was expecting it to take. That was especially nice since I pulled out my laptop, only to realize it was completely dead. Good job Josh! Oh well.

Chemo is interesting, to say the least. The drug combination I am getting is called ABVD. I'll explain more detail about them in a later post, but it's essentially 4 different types of poison being injected into your body, in a very accurately timed and calculated fashion... and one of them makes you pee red right after. THAT was the interesting part.

While getting chemo, you are in a room that has about 20 or 30 recliners placed around the perimeter, next to which are the IV machines that people get hooked up to. There were a few others getting treatment that day, some of which looked better than others. One lady next to me seemed to be on her first treatment as well. I think she might have breast cancer. She seemed really scared. I think I'm going to bring her cookies next time I go. I feel like I have a responsibility to be the one in that room that is always smiling and laughing and joking... making everyone feel better about the situation that they are in.

So, the only thing that I felt during my treatment was a really weird feeling of being flush and unsettled, for about 10 minutes right in the middle. Other than that it was no sweat. Afterwards, my mom and I went to the Crab Pot, and I wolfed down a pound of crab. The steroid they gave me right before chemo made me pee a lot, but other than that I had virtually no physical side effects the entire weekend. I was out and about, shopping, and going to Pike's Place Market without any real energy drop at all. Mentally, though, was another story. My main side effect was chemo brain. I have read about this elsewhere, but I didn't really think that it would happen to me, or that it was even a real thing. Chemo apparently has the ability to make your brain really scrambled. It's pretty much like having ADD. I couldn't make a decision on anything to save my life. It took me hours to decide which shoe organizer to buy, I couldn't pick a restaurant that I wanted to eat at, and I had the hardest time focusing my attention on anything other that a movie or TV. And all the while, I was super hyper. I couldn't stop touching things, and trying to clean everything. I felt like I needed to be super productive, but I couldn't figure out which thing I wanted to do. It was very bizarre.

So, my Mom left yesterday, and my Dad and I had dinner, and I was starting to feel better. No ADD, and I was calming down a bit. However, this morning I woke up with something almost comparable to flu symptoms. I wouldn't really describe it like a flu since I didn't have a fever, but I was sore and achy all over for pretty much the whole day, and my mouth and tongue are very sore. I talked to the doctor, and this is normal. I just need to watch it and make sure I don't get any worse, since at this point in time, my body is not producing enough white blood cells to fight off infection. Thanks chemo! This is extremely frustrating, since I was really hoping to work out today for the first time in two weeks, but I am very tired, and I think my body is telling me to rest. I'm gonna listen this once... but be warned Cancer. I'm not gonna let you tell ME when I can and can't workout!

I have a feeling I am going to be a big pain in the ass for my cancer.

Busy Weekend

So, I had a very busy weekend, and didn't have much time for blogging about my ideals... or my cancer. So, this is a pretty large update to fill you all in on what's good in the hood.

First off, it was Valentines Day weekend, and Angela came to visit! We had an amazing time, and I literally forgot all about even having a disease the whole time she was here. We ate tons of awesome food, went to the Rumble on the Ridge show (Jackets!!!), and had a fantastic BBQ on Sunday at my parents house with Skeletor and Jaqueline! I have to thank Joe and Wendy for the amazing seats at the rumble. You guys are awesome for that one! Also, thanks to my family for hosting us all. It was an awesome time, and I ate sooooo much food. All in all, this was one of the best weekends that I have ever had ever, in the history of everything. I was bummed that it had to end, but such is life. I gotta get some pictures from Angela's camera to put up on here.

Anyways, a lot has happened, so I had better get started. Last Thursday I went in for my second PET Scan and CT Scan. This was to see how far the cancer had spread. The whole day beforehand I had to go on this all protein, 0 carb diet, and was only allowed to eat 3 egg's the whole day. Usually I eat 6 eggs for breakfast. I'm fat. I digress. :-) I got through breakfast ok, but then my Dad and Step-mom wanted to take me out to lunch. We decided on all-you-can eat sushi. This was like torture... everything on the conveyor belt had rice!! I decided to get a sashimi platter, which had something like 30 pieces of fish on it, and I am pretty sure gave me mercury poisoning... but it was well worth it. After work I went to Johnny's buddy CJ's house, and for some reason was fixated on eating salami and cheese for dinner (apparently I can't read past the first item on the menu when I'm hungry.) So, I gave myself further indigestion with 4 pounds of dried meats and stinky cheeses. Johnny was hating me on the ride home.

I also feel like I should mention that I have been on Prednisone since Monday of last week, and have gained something like 15 pounds... so much for my workouts!

So, the next morning I went in for my scans, and everything went fine. They made me fast from 10PM the night before, so I was starving by the time I got in there at 11. But the nurses were so nice, they let me drink this really awesome chalky white stuff called Byrillium Sulfate. Needless to say, that didn't satisfy my insatiable, steroid driven appetite. They said the scans would take about an hour, so I did the right thing and fell asleep in the machine. It was very relaxing actually. Afterwards Johnny picked me up and we went and did something that I don't quite remember, but I'm sure was really fun and probably a little bit dangerous. HAHA

The next morning (Friday) I had to go get bone marrow drawn. This is the one that everyone says hurts really bad and blah blah this and blah blah that... I literally felt no pain through this entire procedure. I didn't really see what was going on, because I was face down on the table while it happened, but according to my dad this is what happened. The Doctor took a long needle about the thickness of a pencil lead and stuck it into my hip. This needle apparently was a syringe slash drill, with some internal removable corkscrew like components. She then proceeded to jack hammer it into my bone, remove three tubes of bone marrow, and then drill out a piece of my bone about half an inch long (half of which almost got lost inside of me.) All in all it sounds really bad, but I honestly felt no pain. It just kinda felt weird while she was drilling out the bone chunk. Kinda of like when your leg gives out on you suddenly. Anyhow, that all went fine, and I should have results by tomorrow, but the good news happened after.

She read my PET/CT Scan results, and the cancer has stayed above my abdomen! That means that it's definitely still in a fairly early stage, and it also shows that the cancer is following a very common pattern, which should make it easier to treat. This all happened before Angela showed up, so I was already off to a good start for the weekend.

Later that afternoon, I had to make a quick trip to the sperm bank. I normally wouldn't ever think to do something like this, but given the fact that Chemo can cause fertility issues, and I really DO want to have at least a child one day, I figured I'd take the doctor's advice and put some of my boys on ice before I wreak havoc on my body over the next 4 months.

Monday came and went so fast it was a blur. Angela and I pretty much slept on the couch watching TV all day, and when it came time for her to leave I was not very excited. Later however, my mood was lifted a little when Johnny convinced me to go to Jack-in-the-Box for some Oreo Milkshakes... not like I reeaallyy needed convincing.

Tuesday morning kind of sucked. The night sweats came back the night before so I didn't sleep too well, and I was feeling kind of sick. It also didn't help that I had to fast AGAIN. God I love food too much. My Dad and I showed up and met the Surgeon at 830. He was a nice guy, and definitely took his job seriously (which I appreciate) but man, he would not laugh at anything. Not even when I asked him if he could take all of my Lymph Nodes out and just be done with it. Once that was done we walked over to the PCU and I got checked in for my biopsy and port installation. Johnny decided to take off of work, and meet us there, which was really cool. Having him around really helps to take the edge off in situations like that. By the time I was ready to be taken to the OR we had the nurses calling us He-Man and Skeletor. Except they spelled mine "Hee-Man"... like a donkey or something. It was fun though. A good time was had by all. Even my surgeon made a joke about Johnny being able to stitch me up afterwards with a stapler. :-) They tried to tell me that I wouldn't remember anything and that I would feel horrible after surgery. It took me maybe 45 minutes before I was out of recovery and across the street at the "3 Pigs BBQ" for a pulled pork sandwich and ribs. Take that cancer!

So, all in all, I would say that I am doing pretty well so far. I worked a 10 hour shift today, and haven't needed any pain meds for the surgery yet. The port still feels kind of weird in my chest, but it's only been there for a day so, i'm sure it will become unnoticeable soon. Tomorrow morning my mom get's here, and then Friday is Chemo. Let's hope I truck through that like I have everything else so far!

I have to add here how much I appreciate everyone that has been here to help me out along the way so far. My parents, friends, bosses and co-workers have all been for lack of a better word awesometastic. Especially my roommate Johnny. He has gone out of his way, above and beyond the call of friendship to support me through this, and I never even had to ask him. You can't buy friendship like that. Unless you're Bill Gates. Maybe then.

Check out these awesome pictures!!!! These are my PET/CT Scans. I am not sure exactly what's going on, but I think the highlighted areas are my tumors, lymph nodes, and bladder (it's not a tumor.) :-) All in all, I think it's cool that that's what the inside of my body looks like.

Welcome to my blog!

Hey everybody!

I started this blog largely as a way to communicate with the people who are important in my life, so that I can let you all know right away what is going on with me. But I suspect that as time goes on this will also be something that helps me maintain the proper mindset. Feel free to comment back to anything I write on here. I know the positive comments are going to help me out a lot. I am at work so I will end this here... look for a real "first" post sometime later.